Ice Cream.

Last night I went to Gracia with Lurid and our friend A., who is visiting. Ate far too much Lebanese food, then had ice-cream from this little place on the Placa Sol. They do the very best ice-cream ever, especially the dark chocolate. I usually have that and one other flavour, like mint or tiramisu. It's wicked stuff.

After that, we all piled into the Verdi and watched the new David Mamet film, Spartan. Very good but sad. Then brewskis, then nightbus. Got home around 3.

Couple of things to do today. I've got to pick up supplies for my course, lined pads and white-board markers and so on, but I also want to get doll-vandalising supplies. Last night I dreamed I was in this fantastic art shop with loads of amazing stuff, really cheap. I was super-pissed when I woke up. Man, I hate dreams like that. I get them all the time these days.

I've updated my other blogs, including an entry in my fiction Lj. Now stop nagging me.

Swimming.

I got on the course after all. I start in a couple of weeks.

One of my sex robot stories got rejected again. Dammit, why don't people want to read about headless amputee sex robots? What's wrong with them? I hate it when those get rejected. I feel all embarassed, even when the same publication has poems about fisting and stuff.

Had an idea a couple of days ago: being eaten by your furniture porn. There must be people who want to read about that, surely.

Anyhow I'm bored now and I'm going swimming.

Argh shit.

Y'know I was worried about various people back in the UK? Turns out I was right to worry. One of the people I was concerned about has suffered a major health disaster that could put hir in a wheelchair. I'm horrified and, as usual, completely bloody unable to help.

'K...

So I'm still--still!--not sure if I'm going to be doing my course next month. Lurid is getting an extra 6 months from his boss here so that's all sorted, but there's still the money. We need a bank loan, and there's no guarantee that it will go through before my place is given to someone else. Meh. It's cool, really, because I know this is just a postponement, but I can't say I'm huuuugely thrilled at the thought of another couple of months' fruitless jobhunting.

The Kelly in town is doing free telemarketing courses. I'm going for it. Fucking hate telemarketing but I haven't worked in a year and a half, and am beginning to fear I may never work again. "Stressful" doesn't cover it. "Adrenal glands being squeezed like the udders of a small and highly strung cow and their contents left to sour in my viens until I sweat anxiety" might be nearer the mark.

War Crimes

You can read a transcription of Seymour Hersh's ACLU Keynote Speech here. 
 

The only way to look at this is as war crimes. What happened are war crimes. I’m not saying it’s there yet. It’s not there yet. But that’s where it has to go. We have to stop looking at it as some sort of academic debate about Geneva Conventions and really begin to look at it in terms of: Who did what? Who died? Why did he die? Are there people missing? Are we doing what the Brazilians and Argentineans did back two or three decades ago and actually into this decade? Are we disappearing people? Are there people being tortured knowingly in advance that the torture was going to put their lives in peril and is nothing being done to relieve their suffering to the point that they die?...
...What they did at Abu Ghraib and other places was, the people they would get, they would torture... And the purpose of it, of course, is to generate information. So what do you get? You get people that know nothing... So you take these people, you expose them to the ridicule and physical torture that you can, and they end up telling you. Yes, they'll give you the names of people in their neighborhood that are al Qaeda, or terrorists, insurgency, and they give you names. And of course they're just names, they're just doing it, and then you arrest those people, and bring them in, and you start the process. And the circle gets bigger, and bigger, and bigger....
...Some of the worst things that happened that you don’t know about. OK? Videos. There are women there. Some of you may have read that they were passing letters out, communications out to their men... saying please come and kill me because of what’s happened. And basically what happened is that those women who were arrested with young boys, children, in cases that have been [video] recorded, the boys were sodomized, with the cameras rolling, and the worst above all of them is the soundtrack of the boys shrieking. That your government has, and they’re in total terror it’s going to come out.

I find myself with nothing to say.

Well, that passed.

Sort of pulling out of it yesterday, I did some packing/cleaning, then went to see Spiderman 2. Lots of fun. "Oh, look, I'll just start up this massive fusion reaction in the middle of a big empty place with no secruity or containment around me whilst this minute and seriously fragile-looking chip prevents my huge independantly intelligent robot arms from taking over my brain. What could possibly go wrong?"

Today I am going to bother my agencies, then de-gut an old radio alarm for parts. I've been looking at theremin sites and pictures of undead dollies, and I'm feeling inspired.

Chew on this.

Uuuuuurrrrrrggggghhhhh.

You would never belive how fucking ill I am right now.

Stressedoutandpissedoffand...

...woundupandfedup and sort of bored, and a bit tired.

Don't know if I should do this course or not. I have to make a decision pretty much NOW.

Pros: Would mean better jobs in the future, paying for itself in the medium-to-long term (6 months to a year); doing it now would help me to evade the higher costs and more stringent entry requirements of a course in the UK.

Cons: Factoring in books, travel, ect, and I'm looking at about €1500, which is a lot to spend, especially if the job sitch is up in the air. Also, I should really spend the time packing, cleaning, sorting out transport/storage/sale/destruction of stuff.

Fuck it, I don't know. I'll give it another day or two and then decide.

And there's all this other stuff, offline stuff, lots of it, which I can't write about because it involves other people who aren't me and who don't deserve to have their lives cannibalised for blog-fodder, but which is eating up a large chunk of my attention and energy.

But 'twas ever thus. Just when you think you've got all the plates spinning and all the balls in the air, Fate throws you a chainsaw.

I am morose.

It's bastarding raining. I wanted to go to Sitges. Why does it always rain when I want to go to Sitges? Not only that, but the pool is shut. Look, it's still hot. So what if it's raining? It's a pool. People are already wet.

Grrrr.

More theremin links I want to keep handy...

RS Theremin
EPA article

Ought to sidebar this stuff really.

The Fear.

I slept poorly last night. I had the Fear over for a slumber party. Stupid Fear. All friendly and nice when you're sitting up eating pizza in your jammies and laughing at Real True Ouija Stories on the web, and then as soon as the lights go out, HORRIBLOSITY.

"You are not properly Of Magicks," says the Fear.

"Yes I am," I respond. "Shut up, the Fear, or I shall not let you have any of the leftover pizza."

"You do not do Proper Magicks," insists the Fear. "You do not have a big hat or a cloak; also, you do not have £1050-worth of Grimoires you bought on eBay. How can you be Of Magicks when you possess naught but a bunch of PDFs? Also, you have no wand anymore. You need a big wand, but it must be made of gold and some jewels and you must bleed on the gold and jewels."

"I said shut up, the Fear, or I shall put anchovies in your shoes! I have a wand."

"Nuh-uh. It smashed the last time you tried to use it."

"Oh yeah." That's the last time I make a wand out of melty plastic picnic forks. "But I am still Of Magicks."

There is silence for a while. I start to think that the Fear has gone to sleep.

"Hey, Mordant."

"What now?"

"You are not Of Magicks--you are too LINEAR. If you were properly Of Magicks you would own a plushy Cthluhu and you would make plushy Cthluhu his own Livejournal. And you would have lots of entries here that said lAAAAYEEEiamFLYYYYYIIINGGGGG!!!1! and would talk about smoking dope a very lot."

I get up and put jalapenos in the Fear's pants.

Bleagh.

The heck with today. Screw today right in the spleen. Dunno if I caught too much sun yesterday or what, but I could hardly get out of bed today. Felt slightly better after a nap and half a mug of espresso, but got nothing much done except a little writing and a tarot spread. I'd better be okay by tomorrow. I want to go to the Al Campo for ant traps and red ginseng absinthe.

One of the cool things about being Of Magicks is that when your body decides to go on the blink, it's easier for you to go somewhere else than it is for you poor pitiful Mundanes. I spent some of the time in a light trance, jogging through pleasant scenery or mayhap practicing my front crawl. It's important to at least do pretend imaginary excercise when you're out of action--keeps your muscles in the mood for the real thing. I'm going to go and lift some pretend weights for a bit.

Anyhow. I have a question: I found this fake food. What is it for? Why would one want to spend fifty-five bucks on a pretend vodka tonic? Please explain.

Late again.

Had the interview. Did my usual thing of leaving the house just a shade too late and missing the train, but I managed to make it a whisker ahead of my appointed time. (Note to self: STOP DOING THAT! No, another cup of tea is not of such paramount importance that time stands still. No, the train is not going to magically get in 15 minutes ahead of schedual. If you leave late you will be late. Foolish human female.)

Interview went well. Did not drool, mumble, or scream "STOP TOUCHING MEEE!" when required to shake hands. Maintained Normal Person facade for full 15 mins, a personal best. Of course this is all irrelevent because I can't take up the place. Bah, sulkies. Still, at least I know I could get on a CELTA if I wanted to, which is a boost.

Also in the Land of w00t!, I find there is a theremin dealer right here in Barcelona. Will swing by and see if they have any books or anything. Maybe they will even have kits! Am a happy Mordant.

Edit: No, they didn't have kits or how-to books or anything. However, the guy I spoke to was really cool and gave me his card, told me he knows this other guy who's a top theremin player ect. And I might still be on for the TEFL but I have to wait till next week, when I may know more about the future. So my net amount of happiness remains unchanged.

The electronics shop was shut, so I didn't get my breadboard or my inductors. Meh.

Suckitude.

Well, today was sort of crap. I mean, not completely, because in the morning I went and picked up our Amazon delivery from the post office, Thomas Covenant (Lurid's) and the first of David Gemmell's John Shannow books. But after that it was all downhill. My euphemism was giving me cramps, and nothing I took seemed to do more than take the edge off. This new herb tea I got the other day is supposed to have cohosh in it, but I dunno. Anyhow, I was pretty much immobilised for most of the afternoon. At least I had something to read.

I still don't have all my theremin parts. Started building the bits of the circuit that I do have the parts for, but rapidly got pissed off with old and knackered breadboards. I really ought to get a new one but I'm far too tight. I'm going into town tomorrow for my interview to get on a TEFL course, so I can buy the parts then.

I probably won't be able to take up the place on the course even if I get through the interview without calling the interviewer Belinda. Things are looking a bit shaky at the moment; not mega-shaky, but this isn't a good time to be spending a lot of money. No biggie. I'll still do the course eventually, I just don't know when.

On the plus side, it was very nice out and the hibiscuses are looking particularly smashing. I like hibiscuses.

Humping unicorns tee

*immature titter*

(Via BoingBoing)

Note to self...

Stop being such a sullen uncommunicative bastard before you alienate your half-dozen remaining friends. Snap out of it, woman.

Okay...

Well, it's been pissing down on and off all day, so I blew off the trip to the shops till tomorrow. Made a start on the packing instead. Once I'd started, it was easy, almost comforting; I felt sad to be preparing to leave a place where I've been very happy and had hoped to stay, but at the same time very positive and optimistic. Here is what needs to be done at this time. Here I am, doing it. I'll do a couple more boxes and then start sticking epoxy tentacles on Fake Barbie's face.

I'll write about Marseilles in a couple of days. Not quite in the right headspace at the mo. However, a couple of notes: Whilst there I came upon a few playing cards in the streets, first the Ace of Spades, then the Queen of Diamonds. These I kept for future use. I also found the Seven of Spades, but it was too soggy to do anything with so I left it. Also I picked up a shard of blue glass. I was sitting outside a bar with Lurid, when a gust of wind blew a menu off a table, taking a blue glass ashtray with it. The ashtray shattered and I was very tempted to pick up one of the pieces, because I love blue glass. I decided not to because they were very sharp and taking one of them might look odd. A little later, there was an almighty CRASH! from behind me. I jumped out of my skin, but it was only one of the big sunshades. It had blown over, taking down another ashtray of the same colour. I took the hint, and saved a triangle of the glass. Lord knows what would have gone over next if I hadn't. I mean to incorporate it in some jewellery once I sort out the sharp edges.

The hostage-to-fortunizing To Do list

(For Monday, July the 5th.)

1) Do some more packing/cleaning/sorting out. Mop revolting floor.
2) Go into town and get componants for theremin prototype, LEDs for torch hack, ect.
3) Make squid-head for Barbie knock-off.
4) Not less than one hour grammar revision; two would be better.

There's other stuff, but those are the biggies.

Hi honey, I'm home

Well, looky here--trawling through some old bookmarks, I've just found this. And my new Lj icons for the next ever.

(Page pretty much worksafe, but may cause wigginsization in suceptible individuals.)

Email and sundry communications probs.

This is just to let everyone know that I am having the devil's own job logging into EVERYTHING right now. I can read my evil email address, but for some reason it times out when I try to send anything. Also, I can't log into a couple of the messageboards where I post. Mine seems to be okay though.

Those of you waiting on tenterhooks for replies: better upholster those tenterhooks, guys.

Marseille

Okay, so Im in Marseille, which is pretty cool. I'm in a caff with a keyboard that's Tunisian or summink: the layout is odd as anything and all the keys have to do for about 4 characters each. Iùs very frusrqting1;

Anyhoo.

Yesterday was great. we drove out to have lunch in Auberge, which was pricey but fantastic. There was a Smart Car convention going on so the place looked like a playpen for a giant toddler. It was seriously gorgeous out there. Took a few pix but I don't know if I'll be able to upload them before I get home.

Lurid is off doing some sort of math thing so I've been left to my own devices. Might take a boat out to the Chateau d'If or climb up the hill or something.