Carrots.

Things are looking increasingly shaky. The TEFL is the most recent "looking increasingly shaky" thing. Examining the timetables of all the TEFL places in Barcelona, I find that if I don't get on a course, like, NOW, I shall have to wait till August. If we are leaving sunny Spain, I shall need August to pack and generally sort stuff out, and therefore I may not fill August up with TEFLing. So I have to do the TEFL now, immediately, or not at all. Arrrgh. All is not yet lost, but all is looking a bit "had it here a minute ago, now where did I put it"-ish.

There is also the little matter of the interview process. I have a head start there because I am so articulate, so suave, so magnetically attractive that--oh hang on, that was in that dream I had on Wednesday, the one with the tiny pink bicycles and the singing carrots. But I remain upbeat and optimistic. Or at least, some of me does. The rest of me is looking on glumly, with jaundiced eye, folded arms and doing-that-thing-like-backwards-whistling-lips.

Upbeat, optimistic me: I can do it. It's just one little interview.
Rest of me: Suuuuuurrrre you can.
UOM: No, look, if I talk up the writing as evidence of my Love of Language--
ROM: Your writing is evidence of very little beyond a worrying fixation with headless sex robots and your deep desire to have a job with no co-workers.
UOM: Sure, but I won't tell them that. The interview is only 20 mins. I can fake being a people person for 20 mins.
ROM: You sure?
UOM: Yeppers.
ROM: Sure you're sure?
UOM: Sure I'm sure!
ROM: Twenty whole big fat 60-seconds-each minutes? Are you sure you can do it? Are you sure that, 17 mins. into the interview, you won't suddenly stand on the chair, only not really standing, more like crouching, poking the interviewer with a stick and going "VROOOOOOOOON!"?
UOM: Hey! That only happened once.
ROM: *Looks at UOM with tilty head and squinchy eyes*
UOM: *Stares at shoes, mumbles* Maybe twice. Anyway, I think it's a telephone interview.
ROM: It's your only hope.
UOM: Maybe I could teach some carrots to sing.