No flat yet.

This is bollocks. Why aren't landlords all queueing up BEGGING me to occupy their fetid hovels? I'm Important and Clever and Special. In years to come blue plaques will be placed on the walls of the places I've lived saying "Mordant Carnival Lived Here! Fucking ROCK!!!" While we're on the subject, what's with this "rent" nonsense? Why aren't people paying me to live there? Why isn't everyone giving me free money? I am your superior in every way! GIVE ME FREE MONEY! And also cake and socks.

Just some of the fabulous things I do that you should all be paying me for if there was any justice: Inlightenedment and Leftover Parfait.