Happy Birthday, Lurid Archive!
Yes, it's my fella's B-day. No, I'm not telling you how old he is. (I doubt he's very sensitive about his age but I'll leave it up to him to break the news.) No, he doesn't know I'm doing this and yes, he'll probably be royally embarrassed when he finds out. Bwhahahaha.
(Mine's tomorrow, BTW. I'll be sure and rant about it.)