Mordant Carnival in "actually finishing something" shock

Help me out here. I have a month left on my course and I'm not behind on anything. I have no overdue paperwork, I don't suck at some crucial aspect, and worst of all I--God, I can hardly choke out the words--I've been being...punctual. I've even been told that I might be in danger of getting a job at the end of it. Obviously this is a strange and unnatural state of affairs which must be corrected forthwith.

Option 1) Not studying.

This probably the worst option. The course is almost entirely practical. Since I'm on a building site, there's little to do except build stuff. The only theoretical aspect is some stuff on calculating surface areas which unfortunately I already know.

Option 2) Get really really drunk every night.

Age has taken its toll on my alcohol tolerance, and a crippling hangover at least two or three days a week would help to reduce my attendance and ensure that any work I did do was suitably crap. However, I just can't muster the enthusiasm that I once had for getting unspeakably wasted midweek. I fear I lack the proper motivation.

Option 3) Assault a staff member.

I have identified at least one staff member with the required degree of wankitude. However, he's way taller than me and has access to pointier tools.


Christ, I may actually be going to pass something. I feel...sullied.