Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Random stuff I need to get sorted.

Well, they warned me that getting hooked up with Reiki would stir shit up in my head. And lo, shit is stirred up. Has to do with... well, stuff.

It has to do with fear, mostly. Fear of being strong. (If I develop my abilities, I might hurt someone). Fear of being used. (If I develop my abilities, other people will bully me into putting those abilities at their disposal). Fear of being hurt. (I've never been able to induce an OOBE since this one time where I left my body under fairly hellacious circs.) Fear of losing touch with reality. (Will end up in looney bin, or just bloody nuciance in dangly earrings).

All these fears are rational to the extent that they are all rooted in experience. But they are irrational in the way that they persist, in the way that I allow them to limit me.

Stupid fears.

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