Saturday, April 05, 2003


Weep, my tiny foes! Wring your hands! Rail at the plate of sushi you´re venerating as a god this week! For your dark prayers were as nought. My plane did not crash and my ears did not explode and now I´m in Spain! And you´re NOT!

Haven´t had much time for sightseeing, what with trying to sort out the living-in-foriegn-abroad paperwork and unpacking and stuff, but I´ve tentatively explored my new neighbourhood (a stundent hive outside of the main city.) My new flat rocks like a bastard. It´s rilly cute, and has a humungous window in the living room with a super veiw of woods and grassy bits and mountains. Proper mountains. With trees on.

Unfortunately we doesn´t have an internet connection yet, so I´m updating from a cybercaff near La Ramblas. Bloody hell! I can´t belive I´ve just written that sentence-- I´m updating from a cybercaff near La Ramblas. It´s like I´ve accidently landed in someone else´s life. It´s not so long ago that I belived I´d never get outside the UK, let alone pop off on foriegn hols, let alone be spending 18 months in Barcelona. I keep thinking some dude´s going to turn up at my door with a clipboard and demand that I swap with the person who´s supposed to be here.

"Party name of Carnival?"
"Uh... yeah?"
"Seems there´s been a bit of a cock up back at the depot. I´ve been instructed to reposess your life."
"Come again?"
"Yerrs. Seems that you´ve ended up in the wrong existance. I´ve got your proper life right here."
"Urrrgh! Yuck! Take it away!"
"Can´t do that, I´m afraid. You´re supposed to be living in Dartford with a salesman called Neville, pouring Barcardi on your cornflakes and taking out your bitter, bitter frustration on your bedwetting stepchildren. Sorry."

He´ll never take me alive.

Anyway, this place is wicked. They hate the war here. And they hate the Government, which is usually a good sign. Everywhere you go there´s graffiti comparing Aznul to terrrorists, facists and Monica Lewinsky. And I found where I can get free Catalan lessons whenever I want, and this keyboard does upside-down question marks and everything is just fan-bloody-tastic. Wheeeeeee!

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