Why?

Why must you do this? WHY must you be such an INCREDIBLE bunch of FUCKBUBBLES? I'm coasting along, right as rain, happy as a sandboy, thinking nice calm thoughts, ready to wrap the whole world in the Joy of the Divine, and you! You come along with your stupid ideas and your smug, deluded self-aggrandisment and you TRASH MY MOOD to the point where I must ABANDON THE PATH OF LIGHT and go all EVIIIILLLLL. Again.

I pop open my blog so I can get at the sidebar links, and what should be advertised in the banner across the top of the page but this?

Apparently the author of the website, one Jhershierra, is going to show us the path to Immortality. Which is nice.
Of course, she was born with her gifts, which include astral travel and lucid dreaming. (Funny, coz everyone I know who claims to be able to do that shit had to work their arses off. Not saying it couldn't happen, just saying "hmmmm.")

She has also, and I quote, "been visited by Jesus, Immortals,Ascended Massters, Extraterrestrials, and other Spiritual Beings since childhood." Nice of old J.C. to drop by, eh? Not to mention those Ascended Massters. (According to the website, these include St. Germain and, uh, a "dark-skinned Indian woman." So spiritual, these dark-skinned folk, donchaknow.)

Of course there's a bit of a catch. In order to find out how we too can be immortal, we've got to buy her book and, location permitting, attend her classes. But it's a sweet deal -- these Ascended types pop up all the time to tell her what great classes she's giving and how super she is.

How come I never thought of doing this? Why am I boshing away with the green book when I could just invent invent a big pile of crap and imagine myself a nice friendly Ascended Master to shill for me? I'm so in the wrong job.