Stuff in my flat that is shagged:

1) The fridge. Yes, it is nice to have a fridge again, finally, but the seal at the bottom leaks. Duct-tape will make all things right. Duct-tape is one of my favourite substances in the world in space.

2) A window. Or rather a foot-square pane of glass in the door to the balcony. Not a security issue coz there's a big ol' wooden shutter that can be bolted across it, but not good from a heating perspective.

3) The sofa. Being somewhat penurious, we plumped for an inflatable job from Ikea. On opeing the box we found not a sofa which was inflatable but eight sort of rubbery rectangular bottle things that can only be inflated with the aid of a hairdryer (which in our case we have not got) and which need, in order to function sofarily, to be inside the special Ikea cover (sold seperately).

4) A light. The wire which dangles from the ceiling is mended in the middle with a smidge of tape. Many things can be fixed with tape and will function as advertised. Not this.

5) The loo. The flush is knackered.

This irks me. I am irked. I hate it when things break that I can't fix with duct-tape.