Saturday, October 23, 2004

The sun is shining.

When I leave this internet café, it will be hitting the painted plaster of the buildings just so. I will feel better just for looking at it.

Things are brittle in my life right now. Everywhere I put my mind, it bangs up against the sharp edge of something: work, the temporary nature of my dwelling, my anxieties for the future, the gnawing, itching gaps in my knowledge and education.

I'm making tentative plans again now, very tentative. I'm going to sign up for one of those cheap language courses, though I don't know if I'll be able to complete it (I'm sure anyone who knows me well is just dying of shock at that notion; it's just that if I find work I might have to quit).

I've been applying for more and more jobs; I have a daily minimum of 6 job leads, which I usually exceed. I've had a few nibbles but no interviews as yet. I've been making things again, and my writing's picked up a bit. Tomorrow I will go to the park and flypitch for a few hours, see if I can't get a bit of cash that way.

I don't feel lucky. Something needs to change.

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