Saturday, July 20, 2002

The "I'm going to have a fit" thread

Okay, so last night I was online and I realised that I had a fit coming on. At the time it seemed like a good idea to start a thread about it. Here are some edited highlights:

At 23:52 19.07.2002:

I'm going to have an epileptic fit.

Soon. Like in the next half hour or so.

Given that I can't do anything about it, I thought it might be interesting to stay online as long as I can and tell you what transpires.


Any questions?

At 23:57 19.07.2002:

...Just now everything is illuminated with a blush of yellow and rosy-pink.

At 00:15 20.07.2002:

The thing I notice most are tones of blue. I see them everywhere, like crystals. My movements feel very stylized, as if I am taking part in a noh play or a puppet theatre.

At 00:17 20.07.2002:

I can taste something, like salt but not salt. An illusiory flavour, on the tip of my tongue like a forgotten word. The keybord is bricks, sandstone bricks.

At 00:18 20.07.2002:

This is the aura. The fit comes later, a sensation like a fast train.

At 00:19 20.07.2002:

It's not going to be a bad one. It's come up fast. The slow burn is the worst.

At 00:21 20.07.2002:

It was the smell that told me. I smel lthings like burning herbs. Then they go, and when its over they're gone.

At 00:24 20.07.2002:

I can feel a weight in my palms, like stone. But it is a stone that moves with me, weight without weight.

At 00:29 20.07.2002:

I can feel fragments of identity speaking to me. It gets harder to describe. I taste salt and something else. I exult in these moments. it's the payoff for the bad times, the weary times. In these moments I kiss God.

At 00:31 20.07.2002:

I can see all the colours now. under your skin! look at your hand. do you doubt that you contain an infinity of shades? tone and chroma chapter and verse. you are the book of madder-rose and indigo. my hands will be taken soon, for a while. but how lovely that i can speak colour with my hands, while the time lasts!

At 00:33 20.07.2002:

its coming. i break open like achrysalis, i split. cant say much more. but you are the divine! look at your hands, draw breth, and do not doubt that you taste eternity.

At 00:37 20.07.2002:

over soon. i would be a river if i could. i would bleed eternal/divine. wont see it when i wake up. see it NOW.

all colours. when you see all the colours. all the colours, in any one colour. that is to taste the divine. over soon. I want to remember! the keys look like bone, like brick. pyramids and saints toes. all colours. all the colours. they all saw all the colours.

At 00:40 20.07.2002:

keys like bone, but containign all colours. the colours never leave us. God is spectrum, infinite spectrum. sound, colour touch all a spectrum.

At 00:41 20.07.2002:

it comes. ill tell you in a minute. be fine. i love you

At 00:54 20.07.2002:

It's over. I had the fit, I'm fine except I think I hit my elbow on something and I bit muy tongue. I'm going upstairs for hugs and food. See you in the moring.

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