Tuesday, June 08, 2004


Did some more work on the red book. Odd, very odd... I was getting different layers of communication; first, the words and phrases the popped into my head, then what the pen wrote on the page. This beastie seems to have superglued the Caps Lock in place and has a blind spot for vowels.

It was nasty stuff, very ugly and threatening; precisely what I expected. But behind it, I got the sense of something small, weak, needy, like a kid. A mean, hungry, angry, messed-up vicious little kid, a kid who's ready to shiv you for glue money--but still and all, a kid. You know, it may be that my perception of this excercise has been all bassackwards. Maybe this isn't a binding at all. Maybe it's a rescue mission.

The guides warn caution, however, and I shall heed them. Could be that this persona is just another scam.

Felt good afterwards, tho'. Like when you've been feverish and the fever breaks, or when you pull out of a really nasty migrane, or when you've suffered through a particularly harsh period cramp and you get a breather. Wobbly but cleansed. This is something I need to do.

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