Mordant Carnival is not a role model.
I've been checking my referral log and it has come to my attention that some of you younger people have seen fit to add me to your blogrolls. You worry me, you really do. It's bad enough if I know you personally, but now completely unknown teenagers have started sticking my URL in their sidebars. It's weird to see my nomme de net hanging around next to blog entries like: "10-1-03: School totally sucked today. I was all, like, math, whatever, then Darren said hi and I was all OMFG!!!! Egg and chips for lunch. Totally rank."
This sick and disturbing practice must stop. I am everything you should be avoiding, carcass kids. If you have any ambition in your tiny little minds it should be to do whatever you can to not end up a bitter and irascible creature of few morals and debatable sanity, lurching from crisis to crisis via boredom and compromise, detesting everyone you meet on general principle.
Oh, and I hate kids. Sod off and sniff glue or something.