Friday, November 26, 2004


I am very very twangy and wound up today.

Things started badly, waking up from a long and peculiar dream involving:

1) Being forced to sit through a stage musical of LOtR (it really sucked and putting Gandalf in Elton John glasses was a dumb idea).

2) Finding that I had to perform a trapeze act about 100 feet in the air with a swimming pool instead of a safetey net. There was a sword in the swimming pool and I was supposed to swoop down and grab it up and do all swordy stuff on a trapeze. I tried to explain that I could not, in fact, do any of these things and that I was terrified but the showman wouldn't let me off because he'd already had posters printed.

3) Shopping on a long high-street where all the shops pretended to be shut, just to piss me off. I finally crept up on one and pounced before the shutters could come down. All I wanted was bread, cheese, and water; all they had for sale was cheap schnapps. But really, really, they were just hiding the water behind the schnapps! I bought several bottles of fizzy water while various staff members cursed me in Spainsh, paying with black-painted fingernail clippings and a pocket-watch.

Real life proved barely more comprehensible. There was meeting with the rest of the women on my course so the organizers could see how we were getting on. Fist people started bickering, then they started snapping, and then there was this full-fledged barney, the kind where people only stop yelling to fill up snotrags. And I'm sitting there totally fucking unable to work out what they were all yelling about, because fast and many new words and shouty people and ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH. For a full fucking hour.

It seem that the Powers That Be are still playing the Make Mordant Deal With Scary Scary Things That Scare Her A Very Lot game. I am very greatful for the opportunity to grow and develop and toughen up or whatever I'm supposed to be doing but I would like a sabbatical now.

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