Monday, November 01, 2004

The rain in Spain...

...falls mainly on my barrio. I guess Winter's really here.

I really need to get my dwelling sorted. Stuff leaks, the window's still missing, the light that didn't work still doesn't and it's all bothering me and making me hide inside my own head where I can ignore things that leak/drip/fail completely to function ect. Which is really really mature and constructive and totally does not result in the slow deterioration of my surroundings into a big pile of socks and last weeks' Primeramàs.

On a more positive note, I went to the healer's group meeting yesterday. Man, I feel so much better. It was wonderful to participate in something positive with really nice people for a change. We got up to some spookyness and hocum, my first group working for aaaaages.

Made me realise how little I've been socialsing lately; most of my conversations for the last month (that aren't with Lurid) have been with strangers telling me that no, I can't have a j-b. No wonder I've been feeling so trapped and obsessed and sterile. I've done nothing but stew in my own juice for weeks on end. Can't quite see a way out of this mess yet but I feel like I'm closer, you know? Less paralysed.

I'll get it all sorted. Bit by bit, I'll get it aaaaalll sorted out.

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