Wednesday, February 20, 2002

What are you like?

Ah, shit. Remind me not to surf when I wake up in the wee small hours.

It shouldn't matter. It's all a long time ago, my life is immesureably different since I left this person, I've been in a relationship with someone else for the last, what, five years... but somehow it does. It does matter. Apart from the tiny weeny corner of my soul that still wants That Ex dead (with big fuckoff knives in), I honestly hoped That Ex'd be happy, or at least in a life with the potential for happiness. But nooooooo.....

I was mucking around with Google when I came across a website that looked familiar. After a moment or two I realized it belonged to That Ex. (You know the sort of thing I mean. Everyone's got a That Ex.) 'Course, a tiny little part of me was hoping that the site was being kept up as a memorial, That Ex having bought it in a messy RTA, but most of me is all venomed out where this person is concerned and was simply hoping that That Ex had moved on, learned from all the stuff that went down between us and generally sorted things out a bit.

Nope. In the intervening years, That Ex has learned exactly zilch. Same hackneyed philosophy that I thought was so mind-melting at first and which seemed less and less so as time wore on, same trite phrases being trotted out, same frankly fucked up attitudes rationalized in the same thin, tired way, same immaturity leaking through the cracks in the wise old facade. And I'm thinking, yeesh, have you changed at all since I knew you?

Oh. Yeah. You have.

You've bought a new shirt.


Today's mood: sorry, they don't seem to do a "horribly disappointed" emoticon.

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