I am being systematically persecuted by the Government!
The proof? They've banned my lasers. I need my lasers, and they are banned. Lower-power lasers are availiable but I have to wait for Maplin to get some in. Since the Government are probably sitting around reading this and laughing into their cocoa, I would like to say to them: Eat my shorts, Government people! I shall have my lasers anyway, and I shall buy a big huge book on making my own lasers so you can never take my lasers away again! I shall make many lasers. And a Tesla coil and a coin-shrinking device. And I shall laugh at your bafflement, Government.
I hate the Governmnet. And you.