Saturday, September 28, 2002


I note that I am still getting upwards of seventy-eighty hits a day from Solonor's (good and colour changey and toyfilled) blog. This is fine; I always need fresh minions. However, every single one of these hits relates to Spiderman Will Make You Gay. I have a couple of things I really have to get off my chest about this:

1) S.W.M.Y.G. is not that funny.

It's funny in a philosophically absurd sorta way (Concept: sexual orientation. Percept: watching Spiderman dance will permenantly change said orientation). One can entertain oneself by comparing and contrasting S.W.M.Y.G. and the attitudes of people who think that Clause 28 is all that protects our children from growing up to be bulldykes or nancyboys. It's funny because... well, Spiderman, dancing, you know, it's a thing. But it's not amazingly hugely terrifically funny. (Unlike, say, a troupe of plastic skeletons dancing to a cover of Y.M.C.A., which was that funny and still had some funny left over for a bag of chips.)

2) Am I the only person alive who doesn't find the word "gay" inherently funny?

Why is "gay" funny? It's not funny. It started out not funny and it got less funny from there. Here's a little known fact: Every time you say "gay" like it's funny, it gets less funny. Saying "gay" like it's funny is now so far into not-funnyness it's become a source of superdense not-funny. It is Weapons Grade not-funny. You could hurt someone with that. Terrorists could get hold of it.

Here's why "gay" seems funny from a certain angle: "Gay" has become a random derogatory term, as in "that game is gay", "your shoes are gay", "this Counterstrike map is gay". There is much absurdity to play with here and we're all about the absurdity. I understood that part. I also got the part where the randomly cruel and vile things that kids say to each other in the school playground are cripplingly funny, given a certain distance.

Here's why the "gay" thing isn't that funny after all: Pretend it's you. Instead of "gay", insert whatever you got or still get the piss mercilessly ripped out of you for. Then pretend that the prejudices against this thing, whatever it was, were hedged around by laws and rules and clauses. Pretend that many powerful individuals agreed that you were wrong and peculiar, and made laws accordingly. Pretend this trait could get you turned down for jobs, or even fired. Pretend that it seems as though it's okay for everyone to hate you.

Assuming that some or all of this is already true, add "being gay" to the mix and see if things would improve much. Still laughing?

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