Sunday, May 23, 2004

Red Book.

Okay, so having got the red book all fixed up I couldn't really make any more excuses, so I did my first entry last night. It wasn't up to much because I was so rattled by the whole thing, I couldn't tune out my thoughs and let the other voice take over.

I began by writing the phrase that cropped up last year, when the entity in question tried to hijack a communication I was having with my guides: "Blood of the lost, blood of the lost land." After a couple of repetitions, my pen wandered off and the communication kicked in. I got a few paragraphs of "I am POWER, I am HUNGER," ect ect chiz moan drone.

I asked the entity in question why, if it was so arse-kickingly hard, it was reduced to hanging around inside my noggin and generating thought intrusions, whereupon it ceased communication and sulked. Recieved a communication from the guides shortly afterwards, to the effect that a human mind is actually a pretty big place, very inviting territory for a wandering evil entity of no fixed abode. The impression I got was that these critters, whatever they are, don't actually realise that what they percieve within the mind isn't really real, but memory, imagination, dreams. They poke you in the right place (shame, guilt, misery), generate a pain response, and to them it's as if they've unleashed hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunami! Their whole world (your mind) shakes! What a blast! What power!

Meanwhile, back at the reality ranch, they may have persuaded you to mutter "bollocks" under your breath, if they're lucky.

I'm pleased to have discovered that this little beast is responsible for most, if not all, of my thought intrusions. I mean, this has been going on as long as I can recall.

A tentative analysis...

If we may temporarily adopt, for the sake of argument, a model which includes the existance of spirits having objective reality, and psychic attack as also having objective reality, we can look at the phenomenon thus:

Assume thought intrusions = a form of psychic attack. The very fact that the intrusions commenced at such a young age (around 2 1/2 years, IIRC) would seem to argue against an attack by a living individual. (No motivation for putting so much effort into a working.) Alternative: "Obsession", the action of a spirit attempting to access or influence the world, to express itself, through a living person via that person's thought processes. Since the entity would be searching for an easy mind to break into and poke around in, a small child becomes a desirable target. According to many versions of this model, such an entity may have very skewed perceptions, possibly unaware of what it is doing and of the consequences of its actions.

Usefulness of Red Book project:

Accepting the above model to be true implies that a problem exists requiring a solution. Project offers a solution.

Assuming the above model to be false (subjective), the project offers possible theraputic value. Therefore it is reasonable to proceed with the project, whilst monitoring its impact, positive and negative. If it becomes too time-consuming or otherwise intrusive, it must be abandoned.

I could be completely off about all this, of course, but my instinct is that I'm onto something. Really must maintain good contact with my guides while all this is going on. I may well need their help.

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