Friday, May 21, 2004

Under construction.

This new identity I will be inhabiting for the purposes of progressing in my magickal and creative work (see here) is taking longer to construct than I anticipated. I think you'll like her when she's done, though.

More magick: Have created the Red Book wherein I am to take dictation from an entity rather less kindly than M-L and R-M-L. Like them, its nature is unknown to me (Spirit? Ghost? Figment of my imagination?); unlike them, it is not a well-intentioned friend, or ally. It is the voice that chokes my voice, the thing that freezes me in my tracks and will not let me be, the thing that chases me through my dreams. I mean to fight it and bind it.

Couldn't find a red book with red pages, so had to purchace a book with red covers and dye the paper with ink. The result is appealing: blotchy, organic. It should be in interesting artifact if nothing else. The thought of actually starting it gives me the wiggins, but start it I must. I want my head back. The guides offer me a lot of protection; or rather, they offer me aid in protecting myself.

The guides refer to the entity's words as "the voice of your proof." In other words, by communicating with it I will see some concrete evidence that this aspect of my life isn't just a fantasy or a delusion. This could be big.

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