Lurid set the Grauniad as our homepage, right? (Bless his cotton socks.) So every time I crank up Mozilla to look at Homestarrunner.com or ball-kicking porn or whatever, I get their front page. Usually this just results in mild infuriation until I can get Strongbad's Emails loaded, but today they've got a picture of Julie Birchill on the front.
Ms. Birchill is one of those pompous, arrogant, knownothing tubesteaks whose pompousity, arrogance, knownothingness and overall tubesteakosity pisses me off so much that I can't even look at her shagbastarding photo without wanting to hulk out and break stuff. On the universally accepted scale of facehate, she rates like 805 milli-Bushells.
Well, I'm sorry, but someone had to say it.
Anyway I've finished all my assignments so I get to rant about how much I hate everyone now. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee! Next on the list....
Dear Person Who Keeps Googling Me From BTcentralplus,
I appreciate your interest. I'm touched that you visit me so often; it shows a tender concern and a childlike curiosity rare in this jaded world. However, I just have to ask: What the hell is wrong with you? If you have to read me fifty-three times a day, why don't you just bookmark the goddamn page? Or memorise the URL or something. Or, I don't know, read something else. Plenty more blogs in the sea. Of blogs. You know, not a sea made of blogs, just a sea with some blogs in it.
In conclusion, you are a big freak and probably smell of cheap biscuits. Love, Carnie xx